I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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