Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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