Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
