I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
