I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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