and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
