things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
