What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
smell my finger.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
