omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
