Pappa wants mamma naked
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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