she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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