Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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