I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
