Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
