if you like me you must not know who I am
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
