no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
