Do you still have your period?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
