DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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