i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
