I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I smell stomach acid.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
