I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
