Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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