we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
