Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
My vagina just recognized that song.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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