apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
