I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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