What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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