Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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