Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
