Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
did i just pee glitter
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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