Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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