Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
