my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
