You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
