I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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