Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
