I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
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just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
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I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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