"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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