Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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