I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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