why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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