They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
she smelled like a LAN party
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
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I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
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You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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