Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
