I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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