The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
