Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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