So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
