Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
