You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
