her facebook's as public as her vagina
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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