I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
