i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
