apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
