Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
