wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
