Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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