I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I think my moral compass just broke
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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