Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
