Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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