that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
