Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I puked a lego.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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