I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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