Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Randomize