you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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