Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
