Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
