That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My pussy is not your playground.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
