They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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